madretrabajadoracreativa

Here I go! Life would be much easier and less painful if we were born awake, but we are not; no alarm system, plain naive, wanting everything to be wonderful and find paradise on Earth. When we reach the point of asking ourselves questions with curiosity, is when our youthful naive nature starts to understand and wonder what is behind what we see?

Us women, have a soul need to express ourselves, blossom and develop in our own sensible way.  We are taught very early to be nice, which is perfect, as long as it does not wipe out our intuition, because we will need that ability to speak our truth in a clear voice.  Practice listening to your intuition, ask questions, be curious, hear what you hear and see what you see, and then act upon what you know is true. We have these powers, they are given to our soul when we were born; if they are covered by any reason or over muddy years, mud can be washed away. When our soulful life is threatened, we must draw a line and mean it, to protect our instinct and inner voice, because they know what is wrong, and then we are no longer naive.

Oh my, how many phases do we go by in our lifetime! All of us! At all ages! Over and over! Rollercoaster years for me lately!! Phases that make us wander into the woods or into the desert again and again. To hold on to the things we learn along the way, to speak up for what we think and feel, takes endurance and faith. We may not seem changed in the outside but inside we may have reclaimed the wild part of ourselves and under our skin, we are no longer tame. It is no coincidence I felt the need to kickbox this year.

My girls, how glorious it is to be caring, to be daring, to be women.  Volaréis! I love you!

Lately, I have thought that love is like a hunting story and what a coincidence that one of our favorite games in kinder these last three years that we play is a hunting game! Let’s go hunting! I truly believe that the union of two people and their souls is like magic in itself, but that there is a wildish component in relationships, the one that we are terrified of the most, the one that is about death and life, just like hunting…

We pretend we can love without any part of it dying, that is our illusion, our blindness, but what can die? Illusions, fantasy, hope, belief, trust, expectations, wanting it all, to have only the beautiful… when you commit to love, you commit to all of this, and the possibility of all of this ending, you commit to many endings and many beginnings in the same relationship. Some parts of a relationship that are not good must die and we must let go of them, in order for new ones to be born. So love is about births and deaths, how we embrace that and how it transforms us and how each partner transforms the other…and who knows what they can hunt together?

But why are we so afraid of endings? I guess because we think that death is followed by more death, but I think it is not, that after death a new life is in the process of making itself. Without anything dying, there is no lesson, no darkness where a diamond can shine, no challenge that can transform, no need for renewal and solitude, but the miracle we search takes time to find and time to bring to life.

Love costs, it costs bravery, it costs crossing a dessert, going a distance, putting a distance, breaking your heart open,…even running is part of all this process, just like our hunting game in kinder, but not for long and not forever. To love is not about being strong, but wise, and that strength comes from the spirit.

To love pleasure takes little, to love truly takes a hero who can manage his own fear. We are all fearful, if you are alive you are, fear strengthens and heals, fear is a poor excuse for not doing the work.

Sometimes the heart is a lonely hunter… and that is more than OK.

Oh, my lands! Promise the next post is a recipe!! 😉

Love, Ana

I am no closer of having anything figured out by no means… but I have been feeling an invisible genuine force these last years that has made me take one step after another in an unknown direction, the right one because I felt a certainty within my heart. Miracles have crossed my way, unseen to the rest of the world, some even with shapes and colors, and they have put me and my family in the way of beauty and gratefulness. Just like that.

I wanted to share with all you, today, in a special one, what I wrote exactly one year ago…Call me crazy! Thank God I am and I love it!

This year of change, being new to Lower School has made me more open to things I did not recognize before, even though they were happening all the time and working all the time, I did not see them. The more they occurred, the more I could use that awareness to learn, grow and be better.

In late September, I experienced an explosion of kindness, inspiration, and connection with 5KB. I was asked to speak to them about my flaws and defects. Around then, no “Wonder”, miracles started to happen, as my perception of many things changed. The origin was Asm. That whirlwind of magical kindness inspired me to be me, to see more through my own eyes, something the little ones just DO.

Teaching tiny people has made me not dismiss the little things, made me more open to hear, see, feel, smell and taste it all more. They have made me understand that being vulnerable, as children are, makes one beautiful, measures your bravery and that it is the way to live a wholehearted life. This way of living, as my little students do, is the birthplace of pure love, belonging, creativity, worthiness, and joy, as well as fear and struggle….which we are all wired to experience, but being vulnerable as they are, lets one be seen, deeply seen and feel alive and enough.

This year in Lower School felt like having my own special superpowers; I guess that is why I started to wear superhero clothes at 42 to work…to my very own surprise. 

We all have gifts, but it is not until we perceive them, that they start working in you and in everything that surrounds you.  Asm this year has been the playground of the miracles I have experienced and reached my heart directly.

Like my 10-year-old son says “white butterflies, are much more than just white butterflies”.

Love, Ana

My thoughts have been all over the map this week trying to settle the restless energy I carry just like that, which is why I appealed to my guts and listen to what they have to say.

Being always driven by my heart, I feel like my guts just got ahead. Both are who I am and I trust them 100%, but with my head all over the place and my heart off-track, my guts are all I have!

I can fall countless times but will rise strong endless ways just because that impatient inner enthusiasm finds its way through no matter the obstacles in the way. Everywhere you look there are living powerful stories being told in the air, all of which are steered by guts, guts that fight through every barrier…my cousin Maria, my friend Ana, my kickboxing instructor, my sisters, every one of us is a living gut. That is what I love about humans, being capable of standing up no matter how torn in pieces. Olé!

We all have every right to own a beautiful life! And the guts to say, do and dream anything we desire for our life. Shout that out infinitely! Guts beat fear, worries, concerns, beat doubt, dilemmas, insecurity, unbelief, risk…listen and follow them, your gut feelings say the truth, they are your inner voice, they bring joy, relief and true inner peace.

And after that, love in every form will save the day!

Thank you Courtney for the wonderful pics!!

At last!! I did it! I started kick-boxing this month! I am rewriting my mornings with early classes that boost with electric energy the start of my day and year!

I have loved kicking ever since I can remember and had visions that I would love it! I am learning a lot about this complete sport and loving every jab, cross, hook, uppercut, elbow, knee and kick. It really makes me express myself without fear, with all I’ve got, fills me with positive stamina and trust my guts. All that while you burn fat, have fun and believe it is up to me to dream.

This sport makes me feel I can fly and know that when I fall I will get back up again, it makes me feel brave and bruised all at once. None of us are strangers to hardships, that is why we fight to be seen as we are. Many dreams have been keeping me awake and with every morning jab and sweat they begin to break free in me.  Something about producing power from within that you can actually see has me charmed and hooked!

Look out! Here I come! Kicking off 2018!! Gloves on! Booooom!!!

2018 Here, We, Come!

The last day and a half I have walked and walked with a stick, laughed, read, danced, breathed fresh air, talked, traveled, comforted, listened to good music, prayed, hugged, enjoyed friendship and family, drank pure water, got inspired, felt like writing, had the best showers ever, ate my favorite cheese, saw mountains, a full moon, walked in the rain, went to church, climbed fences, smiled, wished a happy New Year to many loved ones, remembered amazing times, heard silence and was in one of my favorite places on earth.

I feel honored to have started the year 2018 this way and I feel peace and brave enough to keep on moving forward trying my best. Like my 3 year old nephew Manuel says “I want” “I need”… I want and need to feel this way thinking and believing all of it are miracles I want and need to share. By the way, happy Saint day Manuel!

Let’s remember how strong, passionate and positive we can be!

Let’s trust and demand the very best from ourselves!

Let’s get in our hearts again!

365 squares to go, we have both feet on the first one! Keep your awesome soul walking, warrior of love!

Let’s lead, every, single, day.

Let’s GO! Ask yourself, what is the best you can do? And do that, every, single, day.

2018 here, WE COME!

Thank you Mami, Papi and Ana Ríos.

Love, Ana

Tras un alivión de sentirme querida, solo puedo corresponder a todos los regalos diarios, haciendo lo que saca lo mejor de mi, seguir escribiendo este pequeño legado de amor y vida a mis hijos.

Hace unos días, mi padre, dió una charla interesantísima, en la que aprendí mucho, sobre un tema trepidante más allá de nuestro día a día cotidiano. Reflexionó sobre estos asuntos… donde estoy, de qué estamos hechos, para qué estamos aquí y hacia dónde vamos desde un punto de vista científico.

Habló también sobre 7 hábitos que nos hacen ser más exitosos en la vida, yo me quedé con estos: sé proactivo, ten un fin claro en la mente,  primero comprende y luego se comprendido y que 1+1 siempre es más de 2. Y que para aprender, según mi padre, hacen falta dos cosas: curiosidad y tiempo.

Comentó que lo único que no cambia, es el cambio, que siempre está y que hay que asimilarlo; por ejemplo, las neuronas están en continuo cambio y si no cambian es como estuviesen muertas. Solo con cambio funcionan.

Yendo a las preguntas interesantes… sobre dónde estamos… fue toda una lección de humildad, ya que dentro de la infinidad que es el Universo te das cuenta lo pequeños que somos y que encima es muy raro que no haya vida en otro sitio. Explicó cómo fue la Creación según la Ciencia y estuvo genial.

¿De qué estamos hechos? Pues de 118 elementos tan complejos que se unen entre ellos y tienen el potencial de acumularse y reproducirse. Estamos hechos de partículas ínfimas que maravillosamente se ponen en marcha y somos…¡¡nosotros!! Esto te hace pensar de dónde es posible que todo esto sea así. Y por ello supongo que es por lo que el 87% de todo Europa cree o en Dios o en una fuerza suprema/vital.

Por lo tanto estamos hechos puramente de masa y energía y parte de nuestro cuerpo, y la ciencia lo admite, es inmaterial porque hay parte de nuestro organismo que lo es y eso, comentaba mi padre, es reconocido mundialmente. En nuestra composición hay partículas que son inmateriales…el alma es inmaterial por lo tanto.

¿Porque estamos aquí? Según explicaba mi padre, no es física, ni leyes ni siquiera comprobable, pero estamos aquí porque un ser todopoderoso inicia un proceso de explosión, expansión, de crear elementos y partículas….en las que estamos nosotros y todo….creando un entramado maravillosamente bien diseñado que nos ha llevado hasta donde estamos. En este punto mis neuronas estaban a full…

¿Para qué estamos aquí? Complicada pregunta… simplemente, es la evolución de todo esto, que yo soy un pequeño engranaje que duro unos 80-90 años aquí y que luego….

¿Hacia donde vamos? Pura metafísica explicaba…las capacidades que en la humanidad más evolucionan son la conciencia de las cosas más espirituales, está en nuestra naturaleza ir encaminándonos hacia una mayor espiritualidad…más cercanos a Dios cada vez…tal vez ese era su plan. Interesate. De hecho, como apuntó mi hermana mayor, es curioso que seamos algo tan ínfimo en el universo, pero que nos sintmos tan grandes e importantes por ser simplemente amados.

Fíjate, con lo que más me he quedado de toda esta charla, es que no importa la carrera que tengamos o los conocimientos, lo importante es que tenemos una VIDA.

GRACIAS PAPI por explicar algo tan maravilloso con tanto entusiasmo! No solo estamos rodeados de billones de estrellas en el universo, sino de billones de corazones extraordinarios en la Tierra y nosotros mismos somos un trocito de lo divino, la más valiosa obra de arte, tengo Fe en que la humanidad está muy bien hecha.

Love you!

Ana

Hace algunos días vi la película “Manchester by the sea” y me impresionó cómo retratan en el film las emociones más primitivas de los seres humanos al natural. Una película muy dura de cinco estrellas. Ayer terminé de ver “Collateral Beauty”; ambas tratan sobre un mismo hecho, pero con un estilo totalmente diferente. De esta última, me encanta el título y todo lo que me hizo darme cuenta y despertar…que uno se gana el derecho a crecer, no ahorrar en emociones, que cuando te valoran por lo que eres, vuelas, cuando reprimes amor, distorsionas la realidad, te haces feo y de corazón pequeño y a los que retienen ese amor, les haces desesperar, volverse locos y no saber bien  lo que sienten.

La pena y el dolor puede ser devastadora, pero el amor es más grande. Tu cuerpo sabe. Sabe cuando tu corazón se hunde, sabe cuando te sientes mal en las vísceras, sabe cuando algo florece en tu pecho, cuando tu cerebro gloriosamente hace ¨pop¨… ese es tu cuerpo diciéndote la única verdad. Escúchalo. De esto van estas dos películas, de mucha valentía emocional a pelo y no ahorras en emociones viéndolas, te lo aseguro. La belleza de haber amado de verdad a un hijo, a otro ser humano, es inmensamente más grande que la amargura de la muerte.

Gracias Tommy por las preciosas fotos que nos hiciste, they were a treat of collateral beauty moments, como todas las banderas que vemos por las calles.

Nothing is ever really dead, if you look at it the right way, Ana

Siento una necesidad imperial de decir lo que siento después de un mes lleno de catástrofes naturales, emocional en todos los aspectos, colmado de sucesos, mucho trabajo y cansancio, un país conmocionado, alarmado en tiempos difíciles, muchos hijos, muchos cambios y ahora el SPM…

La clave y base de todo lo que pienso y siento, es ser agradecida, no orgullosa de nacer donde he nacido, ni de tener los hijos que tengo, ni ser como soy o de vivir donde vivo o sentir lo que siento, sino agradecida por todo ello y más.

En estos tiempos caóticos, cualquier cosa bella, amable o bonita es un regalo. La sonrisa de tu hijo, la paciencia de tus padres, una oportunidad, un perdón, comer al solecito, que los árboles se vuelvan rojos y amarillos por arte de magia… si tomas un momento para darte cuenta de estas cosas y pensar en ellas, sin más, esa apreciación se vuelve agradecimiento. Y empiezas a sentirte agradecida, y a tomar conciencia que eres una bendición, que tus hijos, tus padres, esa oportunidad, ese solecito en la nuca, ese gesto amable de alguien, esas hojas amarillas que se caen danzando, todo eso son bendiciones.

No es suficiente con notarlas, esta vida está llena de trabajos, obligaciones, distracciones y malas noticias; tantísimas otras cosas e intereses a los que prestarles atención y que roban nuestro tiempo. Se nota mucho y se siente poco. Piensa sobre tus bendiciones, asómbrate de ellas, habla de ellas, escribe sobre ellas, sueña con ellas, entusiasmate con ellas, muestra alegría y felicidad por ellas a través de amables conversaciones, pensamientos y actos bonitos. La única emoción que hace que todas las demás y la vida merezca la pena, es la gratitud.

Y así termino, sintiéndome agradecida por mi país, mis hijos, mi familia, mis bendiciones y mi vida. Agradecida de tener ángeles a mi alrededor que hacen que el tiempo vaya más despacio y que la gratitud golpee de lleno en mi corazón.

Brave greater feelings, Ana